Saturday, 17 October 2020
Nuances, idiosyncrasies, diverse meaning of many words, placing of commas, semi-colons, paragraphs, and full stops, within the wonderful English language requires years of university studies to gain complete command of this very difficult tool.
After studying English literature and good old plain English, an English professor named Professor Potts, teaching at a posh Grammar School in Wiltshire, UK, was put to the test by his pupils, who bet £200 he couldn’t pass an English ‘O’ level exam.
He took on the challenge defiantly, but forgot to do his homework because he was so cocky about having studied at Oxford University, there was no need to revise for the exam.
After sitting the exam, the pupils examined his paper to see if their professor was as good as themselves. The result was astonishing! Commas in wrong places, usage of semi-colons where commas should be, wrongful splitting of paragraphs, plus other mistakes including – shock, horror – spelling mistakes!!
Professor Potts was forced to sit in the corner with a dunce cap on for one lesson, and had to pay two hundred big ones into the class piggy pot. The money was used for a school trip to Oxford University, where Professor Potts and his pupils were given a day’s lessons in how to write correct English.
Potts and his pupils were also warned that the brain can play strange games, and even after passing exams in any language, mistakes will always be made.
So, spoofers, and other satirical, just-for-fun, piss-taking writers, never take your editorial staff too serious! They forget we are only here to entertain, and not to write a grammatically perfect, latest edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica!